Not Alone but Together
Pastor Jack, the former head pastor of Shoreline, used to say that as Christian’s we thrive when the heat is turned up in life. It’s when things get hard that our true faith shines and God’s word confirms this: 1 Peter 1:6-8 “You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold, which though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” In other places of scripture we see that trials and tribulations produce character and hope as well as and the crown of life (see James 1:12, Romans 5:3-5). So the trial itself will produce something wonderful in us and through us but it doesn’t stop with us.
In America we love privacy. We as an individualistic nation desire to keep things private. And this aspect has crept into our faith. When life gets difficult we often isolate and hide. As a pastor I have heard countless times the phrase “I don’t want to burden someone else.” It’s as if when we share our hardships we are vulnerable to the pain that might come with sharing. We might receive poor counsel or we might be left even more alone. Alone and with a hardship might very well be better than alone and ignored with the very same hardship. But that is not how Christianity works.
People love the phrase God cannot give you more than you can handle which in its best form is poor understanding of God’s word and its worse just an untrue heretical statement about God. Our Lord absolutely gives us more than we can handle because in that state we need to lean on Jesus and His people.
After our diagnosis and learning of the horrible statistics and potential outcomes regarding T-13 babies we prayed and decided to share our burden with the church. When we stepped up and shared what was going on in our lives this opened up doors for much greater vulnerability, it gave opportunity for people to share in the burden, it gave God opportunity to be glorified in our community, and it brought healing to those who suffered of something similar.
Greater Vulnerability and Conversation
Sharing our hurts is scary yet it is right. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we can deepen our relationships with others. My friend used to have a saying “Pharisee’s don’t have friends.” If we lack real vulnerability with others we lack the depth of a friendship. In the body of Christ we are to deeply love and care for one another but if the extent of our vulnerability was a quick “Hey how are you doing?” And an even quicker response of “Fine” then we aren’t being real with one another.
Burden Sharing
Bearing one another’s burdens is an honor and privilege we get to have in the Body of Christ. We are called to do this. We are called to lift one another up. We are called to supply the lack our neighbor has and when we lack our neighbor can then supply our need. One of the greatest stories is found when the Israelites were fighting the Amalekites at Rephidim in Exodus 17. As Moses lifted his arms the Israelites were winning the battle but as he grew weary and his arms started to lower, the Israelites started suffering loss. But in Verse 12-13 it says, “When Moses’s hands grew heavy, they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat down on it. Then Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other so that his hands remained steady until the sun went down. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his army with the sword.”
There is an honor and a privilege that we get to “bear each others burden and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2) The context is helping one another with our sinful nature but it spans even further than that towards doing good. There have been times were Tanna and I have been exhausted beyond reason and the church, those who love Jesus and serve Him, have come alongside us to help us with our day to day. I could go on and on about the dishes that have been done, the cleaning, the playing with our other children. The gas cards and financial help. To top it all off the countless hours of prayer given. A small glimpse of what burden sharing can do is this: We have friends who’s children regularly pray for Lillian. This has taught these wonderful children what it means to have perseverance in prayer. A foundation that will deepen their trust in Jesus.
Healing
As I write this article Lillian is doing amazing. She is 2 years old and has fiery red hair with an incredible personality. She has grown leaps and bounds and adds so much life to our family. The Lord has been so gracious to us in this process. She is our miracle baby. I have a point I want to make about burden sharing and I will do that here then prove it right after. “Keeping your burden to yourself removes glory from God.”
Now I need you to imagine this and walk with me as I explain this. Imagine with me you have been diagnosed with terminal cancer but you haven’t shared with anyone. A few weeks later you return to your doctor and they tell you it that has metastasized and is now in your blood stream infecting all other areas. You have been going back to the doctor regularly and the diagnosis continues to get worst. Each time they give you less days to live yet you still don’t share and try to live like everything is normal. Then one day you go in and the doctors do your scan, they take a sample of your blood and they are confused. They think they made a mistake so they try again. This time they do CT Scan and find out that your many tumors are just gone. There is no evidence of cancer at all. What an amazing miracle to praise God about! So you go to your friend and tell them how God has healed you. Well first you need to tell them you were sick and you need to convince them you were sick then you can share about how God healed you. This will be met with much skepticism from those closest to you. You missed an opportunity for God to be glorified in you because you didn’t share your burden. They cannot rejoice with you and dance and sing and praise because they did not bear the burden with you.
Lillian’s life is a miracle. Most children with Trisomy 13 miscarry in the third trimester. She was born via emergency c-section and had to be resuscitated. She was in the NICU for 6 weeks then flown up to Stanford Children’s Hospital and had surgery to have a G-Tube placed so she could eat. Then for the next six months every single day when she would poop or have any kind of discomfort she would bear down and her trachea would collapse in on itself due to her Tracheomalacia. Then she went to Stanford for a minor surgery on her trachea and never recovered. She was in the ICU for 3 months. She was intubated for 2 weeks. While intubated she had a heart attack that took 40 minutes of compressions for her to recover. Our options are try a tracheostomy which the doctors don’t think she will survive the surgery or extubate her and see how long she can live for.
Our church prayed. Our families called out to God. Our children and their friends begged God for mercy. And here she is 1.5 years after her surgery smiling. Trying Jamba Juice. Wrapping herself up in her ventilator tubbing and laughing about it. Regularly spending hours off of her ventilator thriving. We can and we do praise God with our community for His goodness in Lillian’s life. Everyday she is a reminder to be real, to share hardships, to pray and do real life with others.
